I just lost my job. No... I'm not kidding. The doc calls me in 5 minutes before my shift is over & tells me my position is being "eliminated". I thought he was joking. The office manager is going on maternity leave & the doc's wife is taking over... he claims she won't need my help. Awesome. It's not like Val JUST got pregnant... He only hired me a few weeks ago. He said it wasn't me... that I did a great job... he'd ask around the dental community... blah blah blah. Whatever. Smells fishy to me. No notice, just don't come back. SO glad I invested in all of the scrubs. This makes me feel just FAB about myself.
What next God? By the way... You're an ASSHOLE.
S
Trying to survive and thrive, through the most difficult time in my life.
Welcome!
So here's the Reader's Digest version for those of you who are new to my blog.... My 39 year old husband, David, was diagnosed with a hideous and deadly cancer in April of '08. We were told he'd likely die in less than 4 months. Obviously, that diagnosis turned us inside out and shook us to the core. At the time, our boys were 12 and 4... can you say 'fucking nightmare'??? I spent the next 14 months being his 24/7 caregiver and advocate... never leaving his side unless it was to get the boys to or from therapy or their cancer support groups. Cancer and the hell that it brings became our universe. And yet, I was able to get myself to a place where I was depending on my faith.... existing on a plane of pure gratitude. I focused my energies on recognizing the blessings that cancer had brought to our lives... yes, there ARE blessings that come with such a dire diagnosis.
Things were good. David miraculously entered remission in April of '09. I was looking forward to the next few months being our 'summer of healing' as a family. And then my world stopped. He left me... left US... on 6 June 2009. And FYI... he told me he was ending our 18 year marriage in a note. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had left me for a 'friend' who also happened to be married. Nice. The next few months are a blur... I descended into a deep, dark depression, and David's vicious treatment of me didn't help. He was running as fast as he could from everything associated with cancer, and that included me... our family, our home and the entire life we had built together. Things went from bad to worse when his cancer returned with a vengeance. He began treatment once again, and I had to dig deep to help him and make things as easy on him as possible. I even offered to have him move home so I could care for him through his treatment. As it turns out, it was a good thing he didn't take me up on that. The hateful way that he treated me during that time would have made caregiving for him an unbearable situation. I KNEW he was dying... nobody else did, because he fed them all kinds of bullshit... but I knew. Because of that, I focused on the boys and made sure they were with their daddy as much as possible.
His final months were a living nightmare... a kind of pain and darkness for which there are no words. No human being, no matter who they are or how they lived their lives, should have to suffer the horrific pain and endless indignities that David did. In spite of everything, I was with him constantly, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend and his mother. 'Too fuckin bad' was my theory. I wanted my boys to see that I NEVER turned my back on their dad. And I didn't. I continued to advocate for him in the hospital... fighting to get him the meds and the specialists he needed. I was there during his final moments of consciousness. I took Reilly to say goodbye to his dad, just before he slipped into that state. I was there when he died. I ID'd his body at the funeral home. I planned his funeral and his Celebration of Life. I placed his ashes in the wall of the Columbarium at the Naval Academy. We had spent half of our lives together, and though I was no longer in love with him, I did those things out of respect for the life that we shared and the family that we created.The 6 months since he died have brought more changes. I struggle daily to untangle the financial disaster he left me, and I'm fighting like hell to keep our home. The boys are now 15 and 7 and trying to learn how to move forward in their lives without their daddy. I had to get a part-time job after spending 15 years as a full-time mother, and I'm doing everything I can to trim the fat so we can afford to stay where we are. My boys NEED the stability and comfort that come with remaining in our home and community, and staying in their schools. To that end, I will fight with every fiber of my soul to ensure that those things happen.My greatest blessing is that I now have an incredible man in my life... a man who is thoughtful and loving, strong and sensitive, hilariously funny, and who loves me just the way I am. He is authentic. He knows who he is and is completely comfortable in his own skin. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's 11 years younger than I am and sexy as hell. :0)Yes, my boys are struggling in many ways... the therapy and support groups continue... and I still have MUCHO 'death business' to handle. That said, I am starting to believe that there might be a happy future ahead... for all of us.The past almost 3 years have been quite an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. Writing has been the most important part of my day, every day, since this journey began. I am once again being put in a position where I have to learn to survive... spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially... you get the picture. My hope is that I can hold on to my faith, find a moment of joy in every day, be the best mother I can possibly be, and hopefully... one day... emerge back into the light.December 2010
Hi Shanny. Not much better over here. I have a huge tooth problem. I have been in so much pain. Damn. I was rolling an moaning all weekend. Up all last night. Went to the dentist today, got some antibiotics and some pain medication. Cook and I are having lunch. Once she splits back to lunch I am going down. I'm sure my boss is real happy I had to call in sick. Great.
ReplyDeleteDoes sound kind of fishy on the job thing. The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago at Molly Stone's. Another fuckstick grocery store. When you are hired by a union store you have to pass a 60 day probation period. They kept me on until week 5 and then let me go. Like you, for no reason. I think they were a bunch of homophobes. No matter, it all worked out in the end, and it will for you as well.
I wish I could be more jolly but I am feeling like crap. Can't eat without pain, missed out on an absolutely gorgeous weekend(Gina's b-day), pissed my boss off, tired as hell. But, I would rather have 8 rotten teeth than be dealing with a bout of depression. Hey, I just made myself feel better. Why don't you give me a call when you have a few minutes. T.
well shit!!! that's all I can say right now!
ReplyDeleteIt's not you, the wife is taking over for sure, ben there doing that. Sorry sweetie, you must feel bad having lost this job. Get out there and get another and take the $ for the car. You will no doubt be selling more stuff so move on to the next challenge. Soon you'll have skin of steel to have so much happen to you in a short period of time. It's so much to handle. If you can get food stamps why not health coverage? Praying you will be able to be thankful for something real soon. Love E
ReplyDeleteWell ......... Fuck a flying fat duck!!!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like the doc's wife is a bitch! Sounds like the doc is a purse holder. Please contact the office manager and have her write you a letter of reference. "To whom it may concern..."
Shannon, you are a hard worker and a damn good one to boot. Everyone knows that. If there are other dentists offices in the building, contact them, leave them a resume.
Keep holding your head high. It's easy for us to say, but don't give up and keep looking for work.
We keep praying that you get a big break soon. God has to know you deserve it!
You are not abandoned. We are here. You just can't see us.
I love you bunches!
~AN~
not cool :( I would demand to be reimbursed for your scrubs! If you were required to wear them, you should be paid for them!
ReplyDeleteassholes.
aot
r~