Spring Break has arrived.... and it's cold and rainy!!! Normally, I enjoy this kind of weather, but being that my propane tank ran BONE DRY yesterday... it's gonna be a rough weekend! No propane = no heat!!! Of course, I didn't discover that I was completely out until 4:45 yesterday afternoon. When do you think the propane comany closes? Yep... 4:30. I called the after hours number & they basically told me to go screw. Since I'm a 'will-call' customer, they won't do a weekend delivery. No matter that I was on a route for 8 years... since I can only afford a little bit at a time now, I went to will-call & that put me on the 'go screw' list. Nice. Oh well.... last year during the blizzard, I survived for 8 days with no heat. I'm guessing I can do the weekend.
The teen crew came over last night to repair the walls. I ordered pizza and they turned it into a fun evening. I think a couple of them are going to join us today... Gee and I are taking Rory to Tysons to go to Build A Bear. I dangled that as a prize to help him make it through this incredibly difficult week. We're thinking we might take him to a movie too. The little kids are with their mom & the teen crew is going with Chris to a Navy/Maryland lacrosse game later, so we want to make the lil shmoo feel special. He seemed to mostly pull out of his depression yesterday. He's still sad, but he's slept through the last two nights and isn't crying 24 hours a day. Those few days were a motherfucker.
Guess I'd better get hoppin'. Enjoy the weekend.
xoxo
S
***My Finn is at work today. :( He has to work one Saturday a months during the spring and summer. Getting up at 4:30 am on a Saturday is NO BUENO!!!
Trying to survive and thrive, through the most difficult time in my life.
16 April 2011
15 April 2011
Sooooo tired.....
Happy Friday. I couldn't be more thrilled that it's actually Friday... Spring Break is finally here. Yesterday was positively exhausting. The combination of Rory being so incredibly sad and needy, and Reilly continuing to be a rotten prick, seriously did me in. Rory was teary all day. I don't know if you've ever seen a 7 year old who is visibly depressed, but it's awful. My poor baby. We were in the bathroom at Reilly's game. He was washing his hands and just burst into tears. I asked him what was wrong, and he said "I'm just so sad that I'll never get to see daddy again". What the fuck am I supposed to say to that??? Then we were walking back to the stands and he said, "I wish I was a tiny speck so I could go inside daddy's body and blast the cancer out." Can you even imagine the emotional burden this little peanut is wrestling with??? Ugh. I'd give anything if I could fix it for him.
Adding to that fun, was Reilly acting like a giant tool. He called me after school and proclaimed that he would be staying to watch the varsity game. Uh, no. He very rudely asked why not, and I told him that he'd obviously been up too late the night before, which was evidenced by the way that he behaved that morning. He told me I was ridiculous and promptly hung up on me. Nice.
We got to the game, and it was a great one. Reilly threw some serious hits & even scored a goal... with my mom in attendance. Nice! They ended up winning 3-2. Sweet!!! It was very warm out yesterday, so I wore a tank top to the game. Yes, I wore it because of the weather, but I also did it to bug Reilly. Yeah... passive/aggresive... I know. Get over it. But he hates when I do that, and he was such an ass to me yesterday that I did it on purpose. Take that, shit head. After the game, his shitty attitude continued. He walked over to TELL ME he'd be staying for the varsity game, and again, I made it clear that he wouldn't. He unleashed a verbal tirade that was, as usual, wildly inappropriate, and then stormed away to sit with his team. They did have to stay to watch the first quarter, as directed by the coach. I waited until he was seated with everyone and marched right up to him. "You may NOT speak to me that way & you'd better change your attitude NOW. Do you really want me to walk out on the field and tell the coach why I'm taking you home??? Because we both know I'll fuckin' do it. We are leaving after the first quarter." And I walked away. Humiliation of a teenager in front of his entire team can be quite effective. :0) Is this kid a complete idiot??? Hellooooo.... have we met? You'd think he'd have learned by now that I have NO problem embarrassing him while his friends watch. Yeah... talk to me like that at school again. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. Fucker.
Before that little episode I had been talking to my friend Nick. He's the dad of one of Reilly's friends, Megan. She's the one who was really there for him last summer. Anyhoo, he's a great guy and has no problem being seen with a pink-haired, tattooed pariah such as moi. In fact, last fall he went out of his way to come introduce himself and talk to me at the football games. I told him I was very worried about the ride home, and that Reilly's rage outbursts were again becoming a problem. It's a good thing Finn is there, as there have been nights I truly thought he'd come slit my throat while I slept. Nick immediately offered to drive him home for me. Reilly totally digs him and has great respect for him, so I thought it was a fabulous idea. After the ride home, they sat and talked in Nick's car for a good 20 more minutes. I don't know what he said to the kid, but he was almost nice to me when he came in the house. He also told Reilly that he'd like to spend some time with him next week, so they're planning to get together a couple of times. I LOVE that he has another strong man to talk to and emulate, and it's wonderful that Reilly already likes him so much. And I'm incredibly grateful that Nick is willing to go out of his way to help my kid... especially since he is a single, full-time dad to his own 4 kids. I don't know what motivates some people to reach out and help others like that, but I sure as hell appreciate it.
Rory didn't have any nightmares last night, and actually slept all the way through til morning. Thank God. He's still pretty fragile this morning, but I think he's a little better than yesterday. It's a good thing spring break is here... that little guy needs some major one-on-one lovin'. Good thing I can't find a fuckin' job so I'll actually be there for the kid.
Mucho to do-o, so I'd better hop to it. Happy Friday.
:0)
S
Adding to that fun, was Reilly acting like a giant tool. He called me after school and proclaimed that he would be staying to watch the varsity game. Uh, no. He very rudely asked why not, and I told him that he'd obviously been up too late the night before, which was evidenced by the way that he behaved that morning. He told me I was ridiculous and promptly hung up on me. Nice.
We got to the game, and it was a great one. Reilly threw some serious hits & even scored a goal... with my mom in attendance. Nice! They ended up winning 3-2. Sweet!!! It was very warm out yesterday, so I wore a tank top to the game. Yes, I wore it because of the weather, but I also did it to bug Reilly. Yeah... passive/aggresive... I know. Get over it. But he hates when I do that, and he was such an ass to me yesterday that I did it on purpose. Take that, shit head. After the game, his shitty attitude continued. He walked over to TELL ME he'd be staying for the varsity game, and again, I made it clear that he wouldn't. He unleashed a verbal tirade that was, as usual, wildly inappropriate, and then stormed away to sit with his team. They did have to stay to watch the first quarter, as directed by the coach. I waited until he was seated with everyone and marched right up to him. "You may NOT speak to me that way & you'd better change your attitude NOW. Do you really want me to walk out on the field and tell the coach why I'm taking you home??? Because we both know I'll fuckin' do it. We are leaving after the first quarter." And I walked away. Humiliation of a teenager in front of his entire team can be quite effective. :0) Is this kid a complete idiot??? Hellooooo.... have we met? You'd think he'd have learned by now that I have NO problem embarrassing him while his friends watch. Yeah... talk to me like that at school again. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. Fucker.
Before that little episode I had been talking to my friend Nick. He's the dad of one of Reilly's friends, Megan. She's the one who was really there for him last summer. Anyhoo, he's a great guy and has no problem being seen with a pink-haired, tattooed pariah such as moi. In fact, last fall he went out of his way to come introduce himself and talk to me at the football games. I told him I was very worried about the ride home, and that Reilly's rage outbursts were again becoming a problem. It's a good thing Finn is there, as there have been nights I truly thought he'd come slit my throat while I slept. Nick immediately offered to drive him home for me. Reilly totally digs him and has great respect for him, so I thought it was a fabulous idea. After the ride home, they sat and talked in Nick's car for a good 20 more minutes. I don't know what he said to the kid, but he was almost nice to me when he came in the house. He also told Reilly that he'd like to spend some time with him next week, so they're planning to get together a couple of times. I LOVE that he has another strong man to talk to and emulate, and it's wonderful that Reilly already likes him so much. And I'm incredibly grateful that Nick is willing to go out of his way to help my kid... especially since he is a single, full-time dad to his own 4 kids. I don't know what motivates some people to reach out and help others like that, but I sure as hell appreciate it.
Rory didn't have any nightmares last night, and actually slept all the way through til morning. Thank God. He's still pretty fragile this morning, but I think he's a little better than yesterday. It's a good thing spring break is here... that little guy needs some major one-on-one lovin'. Good thing I can't find a fuckin' job so I'll actually be there for the kid.
Mucho to do-o, so I'd better hop to it. Happy Friday.
:0)
S
Reilly's goal on the board.
Yard ape.
Making a catch.
Victorious Wolverines!
14 April 2011
No worries...
You DEFINITELY don't have to convince me to get rid of those stupid fucking bb guns. I ripped the house APART on Monday & took EVERYTHING... the guns, bb's, air cartridges... all of it... GONE. I even took his paintball gun... ANOTHER thing I never thought he should have. He can earn the money to go play at a paintball park & RENT the shit. NO WAY does he need to have his own weapon, of ANY KIND. The kid is FAR too filled with rage to behave responsibly with things that can cause such damage. What a butt head. Like I need THIS aggravation... grrrrrr!
S
S
Almost Friday.....
Hey cheesies... what's shakin'? I am beyond exhausted. Had to go get Rei at school last night right at Rory's bedtime. He's so needy right now and was so teary... he just wouldn't go down for my mom. When we got back I calmed him down and snuggled him for a few minutes and he finally fell asleep. I went around doing all of my evening shiz... dogs, cats, laundry... you know the drill. I think I got in bed about 11:30. I was just starting to let down and relax when I thought I heard Rory crying. I went in his room to check, and he was curled up in a ball in his bed just sobbing. "Mommy... I'm so sad... I miss daddy so much... I want him to be here..." It was awful. Sang to him, rocked him, soothed him and got him calm again. I finally got back to bed, and it happened again... and again... and again. 4 times in all. Talk about seeing your baby with his heart ripped out of his chest... it was soul-shattering. I don't know what triggered it for him last night, but it felt like July 2010 all over again. I ended up laying with him and rubbing his little head until he was deeply asleep. Allow me to say it again.... FUCKIN' CANCER. He was still pretty fragile this morning. Luckily, my mom was scheduled to do an art project with his class first thing today. That poor little munchkin.... I'd give anything to take all of this pain away from him.
Reilly came home with a new attitude last night. We had a great talk on the way home, though the kid is a bit delusional. He had the balls to ask me to stop by the DMV to get him a study guide for the driver's permit test. Yeah... right. Have we met??? Just because you're legally allowed to take the test on April 25th, doesn't mean you've earned the privilege. What a moron. It also didn't help his case that he got up this morning and acted like a giant dick. Seriously dude???? You have NO room to be a douche right now!!!!
I was happy to hear last night that he and his friends had made a plan to deal with the basement. Their idea is to come over Friday after school to get started with the bb removal & spackling. The bummer for me is that I'm going to have to supervise the whole fuckin' thing.... not taking a chance with them half-assing it. The other problem? I painted that basement 9 years ago... not a chance that I'll be able to match the paint. Guess they'll have to paint the whole damn thing. Too bad for them.
SO great to hear from you Miss Elise!!! Howz life as a newlywed? LOVED your beautiful wedding photos and hope your crew is well and happy. :0)
Miss To... really? My words were a "scalpel"? "Carved her up with surgical precision"? Coming from you, I'll take that as a massive compliment, but I didn't think I was that harsh. Trust me, I didn't say nearly the things I wanted to say, but I'm pretty sure she got the memo... haven't gotten a response to my e-mail. :0)
Another home lacrosse game tonight. Glad my mom will get to see Rei play. I'm sure many of you are wondering why I'm letting the kid continue to play after his behavior of late. Yes, it's the thing he cares about most in the world & taking it away would certainly send a serious message. However, his therapist told me long ago that as far as punishments go, sports need to be off the table. He needs it. He needs the structure, the discipline, the camaraderie, the physical outlet and the influence of his coaches. So he gets to keep lacrosse. True, I've pulled him from a couple of practices and the game the other day, but I'm not pulling him from the team.
Guess I'd better scoot... off to get my hairs did. Thank GOD. I'm SO overdue. Have a good one.
xoxo
S
Reilly came home with a new attitude last night. We had a great talk on the way home, though the kid is a bit delusional. He had the balls to ask me to stop by the DMV to get him a study guide for the driver's permit test. Yeah... right. Have we met??? Just because you're legally allowed to take the test on April 25th, doesn't mean you've earned the privilege. What a moron. It also didn't help his case that he got up this morning and acted like a giant dick. Seriously dude???? You have NO room to be a douche right now!!!!
I was happy to hear last night that he and his friends had made a plan to deal with the basement. Their idea is to come over Friday after school to get started with the bb removal & spackling. The bummer for me is that I'm going to have to supervise the whole fuckin' thing.... not taking a chance with them half-assing it. The other problem? I painted that basement 9 years ago... not a chance that I'll be able to match the paint. Guess they'll have to paint the whole damn thing. Too bad for them.
SO great to hear from you Miss Elise!!! Howz life as a newlywed? LOVED your beautiful wedding photos and hope your crew is well and happy. :0)
Miss To... really? My words were a "scalpel"? "Carved her up with surgical precision"? Coming from you, I'll take that as a massive compliment, but I didn't think I was that harsh. Trust me, I didn't say nearly the things I wanted to say, but I'm pretty sure she got the memo... haven't gotten a response to my e-mail. :0)
Another home lacrosse game tonight. Glad my mom will get to see Rei play. I'm sure many of you are wondering why I'm letting the kid continue to play after his behavior of late. Yes, it's the thing he cares about most in the world & taking it away would certainly send a serious message. However, his therapist told me long ago that as far as punishments go, sports need to be off the table. He needs it. He needs the structure, the discipline, the camaraderie, the physical outlet and the influence of his coaches. So he gets to keep lacrosse. True, I've pulled him from a couple of practices and the game the other day, but I'm not pulling him from the team.
Guess I'd better scoot... off to get my hairs did. Thank GOD. I'm SO overdue. Have a good one.
xoxo
S
13 April 2011
Thanks fer da luvvve.
Okay, so I guess I left out some of the backstory. I think I mentioned that Rei had his crew over for the weekend. They had a blast (in more ways than one!) and I always love having them here. Reilly took advantage of the fact that he knows I'd rather eat a steaming bowl of shit soup than descend into that basement... and that's where the hijinks occurred. A couple of his friends brought over their bb guns, and Reilly had one that David bought for him. And just so ya know... it had always been kept from me. D-hole bought it after moving out and kept it as his place. After he died, there was a day that someone took Reilly over to get 'his things', and I'm guessing the bb gun was one of them.
They went back and forth between running around outside & hanging in the basement. Rory was at a friend's house for a sleepover, and I never left my room Saturday night because of the funk. You might find it hard to believe that I never heard a shot... but I didn't. Nuttin'. Nada.
ALL of the teenagers and I had numerous discussions about cleaning up after themselves down there. I know they're teens and they live like pigs. I just told them to make sure it was clean before they all went home on Sunday, and Reilly assured me that it was. I went down Monday morning to make the bed for my mom and discovered a complete pig sty. It was just gross. Reilly was scheduled for an away game that night, and I planned to tell him he'd be cleaning all night if necessary, after we got home from the game. Then the fun really began.... Finn went down to the man cave in the afternoon to get a Big Wheel he'd bought & hidden for Jayden down there. When he came up, he was white as a ghost. He asked me if I'd been in the man cave... uh, no. So I went to investigate and discovered hundreds upon hundreds of bb holes in the walls... and not just in the man cave... thoughout the basement. They also shot at the pool deck and the red truck, and put a nice hole in one of the guitars that David left to Reilly. I LOST IT. I immediately called school and had Reilly pulled from the bus. They were moments from leaving for the game. Then I called the other moms, as their kids were involved too, and then I went to the school to get him. They agreed to meet me there so we could discuss it together, and I was thrilled. I felt like I finally had a couple other moms on my side who Reilly happened to love and respect.
The second I got out of my car, this woman came at me... guns a' blazin'. I was completely blindsided. And the other mom... who is a dear friend... was so gobsmacked by the whole thing that she was completely paralyzed. She has yet to stop apologizing for not stepping in and putting a stop to the craziness. All of this happened in the light of day, in a busy parking lot at Woodgrove. People came and went, and NO ONE stopped to see what was happening. Even when I was literally screaming for her to get her hands off of me... I even screamed to Reilly to "help me", but he just walked away. Awesome.
There's more, but I have to go slop the hogs... I mean, make dinner for the kids. So yeah... this moron threatened to call the police on ME because HER kid was allowed to shoot up the inside of MY house. WTF??? Nutjob.
Later taters...
S
They went back and forth between running around outside & hanging in the basement. Rory was at a friend's house for a sleepover, and I never left my room Saturday night because of the funk. You might find it hard to believe that I never heard a shot... but I didn't. Nuttin'. Nada.
ALL of the teenagers and I had numerous discussions about cleaning up after themselves down there. I know they're teens and they live like pigs. I just told them to make sure it was clean before they all went home on Sunday, and Reilly assured me that it was. I went down Monday morning to make the bed for my mom and discovered a complete pig sty. It was just gross. Reilly was scheduled for an away game that night, and I planned to tell him he'd be cleaning all night if necessary, after we got home from the game. Then the fun really began.... Finn went down to the man cave in the afternoon to get a Big Wheel he'd bought & hidden for Jayden down there. When he came up, he was white as a ghost. He asked me if I'd been in the man cave... uh, no. So I went to investigate and discovered hundreds upon hundreds of bb holes in the walls... and not just in the man cave... thoughout the basement. They also shot at the pool deck and the red truck, and put a nice hole in one of the guitars that David left to Reilly. I LOST IT. I immediately called school and had Reilly pulled from the bus. They were moments from leaving for the game. Then I called the other moms, as their kids were involved too, and then I went to the school to get him. They agreed to meet me there so we could discuss it together, and I was thrilled. I felt like I finally had a couple other moms on my side who Reilly happened to love and respect.
The second I got out of my car, this woman came at me... guns a' blazin'. I was completely blindsided. And the other mom... who is a dear friend... was so gobsmacked by the whole thing that she was completely paralyzed. She has yet to stop apologizing for not stepping in and putting a stop to the craziness. All of this happened in the light of day, in a busy parking lot at Woodgrove. People came and went, and NO ONE stopped to see what was happening. Even when I was literally screaming for her to get her hands off of me... I even screamed to Reilly to "help me", but he just walked away. Awesome.
There's more, but I have to go slop the hogs... I mean, make dinner for the kids. So yeah... this moron threatened to call the police on ME because HER kid was allowed to shoot up the inside of MY house. WTF??? Nutjob.
Later taters...
S
Howdy
Hey nutter butters. Very true To & Robin.... it was ALL I could do to NOT clock that bitch right in the face. She sure as fuck deserved it. I cannot even express to you the horrendous things she said to me. Oops... I mean, SCREAMED at me. It was unbelievable, horrendous and completely unreal. The woman that unleashed on me is the mom of one of Reilly's dearest friends. She's even the one who loaned me her van for race weekend. But the fact is, I only met the woman about 3 weeks ago and she knows ZERO about me, my life, etc. Yesterday afternoon she sent me a pathetic e-mail apology, referring to the "verbal diahhrea" that she said to me. Thought you might enjoy my response:
Verbal diarrhea, I can deal with... it's hateful, ignorant, vicious personal attacks that I will absolutely not stand for. Luckily for you, I have neither the time, energy, nor interest required to swim in the hideous lake of shit that you spewed at me. Contrary to popular opinion, I am far too busy spending every moment of my life trying to walk my children through the immense grief that they live with every day. I pray that you will never know what it is like to hold and rock your 15 year old son as he sobs, screams and asks why his dad had to die. I also hope that you never have to witness your 7 year old, with his heart ripped from his chest because he so desperately misses his daddy. The pain in our lives is a living presence... it is a visceral being that never fully goes away. There is also however, a great deal of laughter, joy and silliness in our home. It exists SOLELY because I have made it my mission to ensure that my boys are not defined by the fact that they lost their father. It is, to be sure, a large piece of the fabric of who they are, but I will not allow it to dictate who they become.
Verbal diarrhea, I can deal with... it's hateful, ignorant, vicious personal attacks that I will absolutely not stand for. Luckily for you, I have neither the time, energy, nor interest required to swim in the hideous lake of shit that you spewed at me. Contrary to popular opinion, I am far too busy spending every moment of my life trying to walk my children through the immense grief that they live with every day. I pray that you will never know what it is like to hold and rock your 15 year old son as he sobs, screams and asks why his dad had to die. I also hope that you never have to witness your 7 year old, with his heart ripped from his chest because he so desperately misses his daddy. The pain in our lives is a living presence... it is a visceral being that never fully goes away. There is also however, a great deal of laughter, joy and silliness in our home. It exists SOLELY because I have made it my mission to ensure that my boys are not defined by the fact that they lost their father. It is, to be sure, a large piece of the fabric of who they are, but I will not allow it to dictate who they become.
Not only did you take aim squarely at me... the person I am, the mother I am, and the motives behind my life choices... you also successfully undermined me in front of my son to such a degree, that he now feels justified in his hideous, disrespectful behavior. After witnessing a respected adult act in such a crazed manner toward me, while saying such incredibly hurtful and INACCURATE things, he now truly believes all of the bullshit that had previously just been lurking in his twisted,15 year old head. You told him exactly what he wanted to hear... that HE is right, I am wrong, and that he is LAST on my list. I am having a hard enough time getting through to him... making sure he knows that I love him more than life itself... that I am his number one champion... and that ALL of my decisions are made based on what is best for my children... to have you scream at me, question me and judge me IN FRONT OF HIM did damage that I am not sure can be repaired. It is not my job to be his friend. My job is to try to usher him through the endless tidal waves of grief that he experiences, and hopefully help him to emerge healthy, happy and whole.
To be clear, I don't owe you ANY explanation.... none. Zip. Zero. But I want you to know how deeply you have hurt me and my relationship with my son. Judgment is an ugly thing, and I have no room for it it my life. To have you compare your struggles to mine??? Unacceptable. I would never, EVER do that. Whatever obstacles you have faced in your life are every bit as monumental to you, as mine are to me. To try to diminish one person's suffering in the face of another is NOT okay.
I am a spectacular mother and a wonderful human being. I'm not being boastful... those are just the facts. All that you truly know about me is that I worked my ass off to raise $5300.00 for an incredible bereavement program that has helped my boys in innumerable ways, and then included Reilly's friends on a magical weekend that gave them the experience of a lifetime. Since that's all you have to go on, why don't you stick with that. It is a very small sliver, but it paints quite an accurate picture of the person that I am.
I most certainly did not deserve the verbal abuse that I was forced to withstand, nor was it okay for you to put your hands on me. I don't know that I can move forward after that outrageous display, but I will not allow that hideous episode to interfere with the relationship between Reilly and Patrick. I adore Patrick and Reilly considers him his brother.
My suggestion is that you might want to look inside yourself to discover why you lashed out at me. Being that you DON'T know me, I can only imagine that you are wrestling with your own demons, and instead projected them onto me. I don't know what else to say, except that I hope you will eventually be able to forgive yourself for what you have done.
Shannon
Whaddya think? I thought I showed GREAT restraint. This bitch threatened to report me to CPS and to call the police for allowing such behavior to occur in my home. Seriously???? Get a fuckin' grip. It continues to boggle my mind that some people have the temerity to not only pass judgment, but to specifically attack another person as a woman, a mother and a human being. She must have a lot of fuckin' free time. Ugh.
Big surprise, my mamasan is at school with the wee ones. She promised Rory that she'd stay for lunch, so my guess is that she's there for the day! :0) It couldn't have come at a better time... Rory is really hurting and definitely needs to feel extra special. Poor shmoo. :(
Crazy rain again all night long... is it bad that I'm hoping the fields will be closed so we have no soccer practice tonight? Time to skedaddle... have a fab day.
:0)
S
12 April 2011
great
My attempts at focusing on the positive were COMPLETELY blown to bits yesterday. All I will tell you is that my jack-ass teenager... who I've been praising up and down for his good choices of late... took a bb gun & shot HUNDREDS of bb's into the WALLS in my basement. Awesome. First of all.... he knows I don't approve of bb guns... never have... and on what PLANET would he think it was okay to not only shoot one, but IN THE HOUSE??? You have got to be fucking kidding me. Well, I hope he enjoys his spring break. It will be spent digging bb's out of the walls, spackling and re-painting. Seriously, I love the kid, but what an ASSHOLE.
The other FAB part was being verbally ripped to shreds by another mom who barely even knows me. This was an evisceration... a personal attack... akin to the one I was subjected to by that heinous cactus a few years ago. Truly... it was like a professional hit. I don't know who the fuck people think they are when they tell me that I'm 'clearly not putting my children first'... 'I'm not getting them the help they need'... that I 'need help & maybe they should call CPS, since I'm not doing a good job'. Jesus H. Jumped Up Christ... I haven't been that irate since the day I confronted that skank whore last summer. This idiot even had the balls to put her hands on me.... she's lucky I didn't fuckin' deck her or call the police and have her charged with assault. What a psycho nutjob. Yeah... pass judgment on ME, you crazy bitch. You haven't a CLUE what I have done, and continue to do for my children. Unbelievable.
Okay.... so the positives for today are:
***My mudda arrived safely.
***She filled my fridge.
***Got home to discover 2 big boxes of Omaha Steak goodies from my dad & miss Mary.
***I haven't eaten a bullet. Yet.
S
The other FAB part was being verbally ripped to shreds by another mom who barely even knows me. This was an evisceration... a personal attack... akin to the one I was subjected to by that heinous cactus a few years ago. Truly... it was like a professional hit. I don't know who the fuck people think they are when they tell me that I'm 'clearly not putting my children first'... 'I'm not getting them the help they need'... that I 'need help & maybe they should call CPS, since I'm not doing a good job'. Jesus H. Jumped Up Christ... I haven't been that irate since the day I confronted that skank whore last summer. This idiot even had the balls to put her hands on me.... she's lucky I didn't fuckin' deck her or call the police and have her charged with assault. What a psycho nutjob. Yeah... pass judgment on ME, you crazy bitch. You haven't a CLUE what I have done, and continue to do for my children. Unbelievable.
Okay.... so the positives for today are:
***My mudda arrived safely.
***She filled my fridge.
***Got home to discover 2 big boxes of Omaha Steak goodies from my dad & miss Mary.
***I haven't eaten a bullet. Yet.
S
11 April 2011
Trying again...
Hey all... trying to crawl out of the hole I fell in last week. I don't really want to talk about it... just gonna try to focus on the positive. The operative word there is "try". The good news is that the kids had a fantastic weekend. Our whole crew... Taylor, Lexie & Patrick came over Friday night to stay. I just adore them. They're all so cute together... they even went on Facebook and changed all of their profiles to list each other as siblings. :0) Lexie had to go to the doctor first thing in the morning on Saturday. Turns out, she'd gotten water in her ear last weekend during their crazy pool play & it had blosomed onto a gnarly case of swimmer's ear with a raging double ear infection. :( Rei invited another friend, Brandon, over and he ended up spending Saturday night. Lexie came back in the late afternoon so she could be with her 'brothers'. Rory was invited to sleepover at his buddy Jack's house on Saturday to celebrate Jack's birthday. I took him over at about 3:30 in the afternoon, after hearing him ask every 3 minutes, "is it time yet???" We were supposed to have our first soccer game on Saturday, but Fridays' relentless rain closed all of the fields. Good thing he had Jack's party to look forward to, otherwise Rory would have been a wreck.
Finn was gone most of Friday and Saturday and we were hoping to spend Sunday together. Sadly, he woke up to a phone call that his cousin Julia had been murdered by her husband. He then killed himself... in front of their 3 year old. Their other kids, ages 9 and 4 came home from the fair to find their parents dead. Unbelievable. Julia had filed for divorce last April, and for the past 6 months had been living with the kids in a battered women's home. She had a restraining order & things were getting better for her. She had just moved herself and the kids into their own home, but was unable to renew the restraining order because the husband hadn't 'done anything' to her in the past 6 months. Nice. So Finn raced over to pick up his mom and then headed up to Hagerstown so they could be with his grandmother for the day. (Hey Spunk... you may have heard the story.... they lived in your neck of the woods & it's been all over the news. Her name was Julia Herbert.)
I just realized I never finished the story about our CZC weekend. After the race, we were supposed to go to the Comfort Zone after-party. But once we found out we'd have to walk another 2 miles back down the race course, we said fuck it. NO WAY could we have done that. We loaded up the car and went back to the hotel for naps. I could have easily slept through the night, but the teenagers came knockin' on the door at about 5:30 to drop off Rory. They wanted to walk back over to the mall and have dinner. We had originally planned to have dinner all together, but it was clear that they needed tome teen time. Whatevs... it was fine. Rory, Finn & I went and had dinner at The Cheesecake Factory, and then Finn treated us to ice cream at Maggie Moo's. The 3 of us always have tons of fun together.
We got back to the hotel and everyone was ready to pass out. First thing in the morning, the human garbage disposals went down for a giant breakfast, and then hit the pool one last time. I had requested late check out, so we didn't have to get out of there til 1... gave them lots of time to swim and have fun. Finn & I packed up early and went to grab lunch by ourselves, before loading up the car with the crew. That was a GREAT idea. :0) Amanda's mom came to get her and there were some tears as she said goodbye. :( SO glad we had our own chauffeur, as the rest of us slept all the way home.
It was an amazing, exhilarating, incredible, exhausting weekend. It was a spectacular experience for all of us... one that I think we'll all remember forever. CZC ended up raising a total of $33,000.00 to send kids to their wonderful camps. I'm so proud that we were able to contribute as much as we did. :0)
FYI.... I had NO plans to do the race in a certain amount of time... didn't have the slighest clue how long it would, or should take. My official time was 1 hour and 27 minutes. I've been told that's very good for a first-timer/non-runner. Really? Cool.
The boys have officially decided on the next event in which they want to participate. It's called The Big Hooyaah and is sponsored by a bunch of former Navy Seals. They have a fitness company called Seal Team PT and offer classes in a few cities around Virginia. The race is September 10th. It's a 6 mile course, but there's a LOT more to it than running. I watched a video about it and it looks exactly like what David had to do while he was training to be a Seal. Lots of running.... just add some belly-crawling through the mud, log pt, canoeing, repelling, shooting... you name it. Yuck. But the boys are STOKED. The super bonus???? I had NO IDEA that they were even affiliated, but the beneficiary of the entire event is CZC. Sweet!!! I'll look up the link and post it so you can see the video from last-year's race.
Tonight is our first lacrosse away game. It's at Loudoun County High, so it's right in Leesburg. I just got a note that the wee ones don't have soccer practice tonight... yay! That makes my life SO much easier. Today was my lax snack day, so I had to drive Reilly to school and deliver a couple cases of gatorade and granola bars. It's supposed to be 85 today... should be perfect weather by game time at 6. Gotta skedaddle.
S
Finn was gone most of Friday and Saturday and we were hoping to spend Sunday together. Sadly, he woke up to a phone call that his cousin Julia had been murdered by her husband. He then killed himself... in front of their 3 year old. Their other kids, ages 9 and 4 came home from the fair to find their parents dead. Unbelievable. Julia had filed for divorce last April, and for the past 6 months had been living with the kids in a battered women's home. She had a restraining order & things were getting better for her. She had just moved herself and the kids into their own home, but was unable to renew the restraining order because the husband hadn't 'done anything' to her in the past 6 months. Nice. So Finn raced over to pick up his mom and then headed up to Hagerstown so they could be with his grandmother for the day. (Hey Spunk... you may have heard the story.... they lived in your neck of the woods & it's been all over the news. Her name was Julia Herbert.)
I just realized I never finished the story about our CZC weekend. After the race, we were supposed to go to the Comfort Zone after-party. But once we found out we'd have to walk another 2 miles back down the race course, we said fuck it. NO WAY could we have done that. We loaded up the car and went back to the hotel for naps. I could have easily slept through the night, but the teenagers came knockin' on the door at about 5:30 to drop off Rory. They wanted to walk back over to the mall and have dinner. We had originally planned to have dinner all together, but it was clear that they needed tome teen time. Whatevs... it was fine. Rory, Finn & I went and had dinner at The Cheesecake Factory, and then Finn treated us to ice cream at Maggie Moo's. The 3 of us always have tons of fun together.
We got back to the hotel and everyone was ready to pass out. First thing in the morning, the human garbage disposals went down for a giant breakfast, and then hit the pool one last time. I had requested late check out, so we didn't have to get out of there til 1... gave them lots of time to swim and have fun. Finn & I packed up early and went to grab lunch by ourselves, before loading up the car with the crew. That was a GREAT idea. :0) Amanda's mom came to get her and there were some tears as she said goodbye. :( SO glad we had our own chauffeur, as the rest of us slept all the way home.
It was an amazing, exhilarating, incredible, exhausting weekend. It was a spectacular experience for all of us... one that I think we'll all remember forever. CZC ended up raising a total of $33,000.00 to send kids to their wonderful camps. I'm so proud that we were able to contribute as much as we did. :0)
FYI.... I had NO plans to do the race in a certain amount of time... didn't have the slighest clue how long it would, or should take. My official time was 1 hour and 27 minutes. I've been told that's very good for a first-timer/non-runner. Really? Cool.
The boys have officially decided on the next event in which they want to participate. It's called The Big Hooyaah and is sponsored by a bunch of former Navy Seals. They have a fitness company called Seal Team PT and offer classes in a few cities around Virginia. The race is September 10th. It's a 6 mile course, but there's a LOT more to it than running. I watched a video about it and it looks exactly like what David had to do while he was training to be a Seal. Lots of running.... just add some belly-crawling through the mud, log pt, canoeing, repelling, shooting... you name it. Yuck. But the boys are STOKED. The super bonus???? I had NO IDEA that they were even affiliated, but the beneficiary of the entire event is CZC. Sweet!!! I'll look up the link and post it so you can see the video from last-year's race.
Tonight is our first lacrosse away game. It's at Loudoun County High, so it's right in Leesburg. I just got a note that the wee ones don't have soccer practice tonight... yay! That makes my life SO much easier. Today was my lax snack day, so I had to drive Reilly to school and deliver a couple cases of gatorade and granola bars. It's supposed to be 85 today... should be perfect weather by game time at 6. Gotta skedaddle.
S
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