TGIF!!!

Hola... I just got the field trip pics up on Shutterfly. There are some seriously cute ones!!! No Miss Bobbin, you didn't miss anything. I was hoping that the drama would blow over, but that ship has sailed. And BINGO!!! You nailed it. Yep. It's the kids that joined us for the 10k... the kids that Reilly considered his brothers and sister... the friends he thought he'd have for life. And not only are the asshole parents allowing this disgusting treatment of Reilly, they have PARTICIPATED. You could say I'm just a wee bit pissed. Actually, I'd like to firebomb each of their homes. Hmmm... let's find the kid with the biggest hole in his soul & see if we can't inflict even more pain. Unreal.

Gotta hit it... long day on the field trip & we have an early soccer game in the morning.

Smooches...
S

Field Trip Day!!!

We got DANG lucky!!! You never know what the weather is going to be like out here... it's always a crapshoot to make outdoor plans. We certainly hit the jackpot for our field trip today!!! Gorgeous and sunny, but crisp and cool. Perfecto!!! The only bad news? I'd like to head back home and take a fat-ass nap. Yesterday was a fucking MARATHON and I was practically in the car ALL DAY!!! Rory & I hauled ass to South Riding last night. I even pulled him from group 15 minutes early so we'd be sure to make the game. I got from the hospital to South Riding in 25 minutes. Lemme just tell ya'.... that's unheard of. We screamed into the parking lot, ran to the gate... and it was already over. :( That had to be the fastest lacrosse game in history!!! I was so bummed. Reilly was too, but he understood. He didn't realize how far away that school was until he was on the damn bus for 90 minutes, getting there from Woodgrove. 


I went over to the Woodgrove side, as I had to give the team mom $ for a coaches gift. Ran into a Waterford family that I've known forever. Reilly & their oldest son were in preschool together out in Lowes Island, & they just happened to build a house and move to Waterford at the same time we did.... so Rei and their 2 boys have been in school together since age 3. They are one of the very few families that have never treated us any differently. They also helped me with childcare, brought us meals, and came to David's Celebration of Life. Anyhoo, we had a nice time catching up, and it turns out that it was a VERY good thing Paul was there. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed several people who have made Reilly's life a living hell for the past couple weeks. It's bad enough that the kid came home after practice the other night and cried and cried about how they had treated him that day. I'm not talking just kids either... there are parents involved. Not only am I hurt and sad for him, I'm FUCKING PISSED at these asshole parents. They have played a very serious game with Reilly's emotions, and that's the last thing he needs right now. I knew I was going to have to walk right by them on the way out, and I was fairly concerned that I might leap into the stands and beat this particular mom's head to a bloody pulp. Paul provided a nice barrier so that I didn't end up in jail. 


These women are such douchebags.... they are all about creating drama. I don't know if they were unpopular in high school or something and now they feel the need to try a do-over. Evidently, they are all getting high over knocking Reilly... the smart, funny, athletic, charming, gorgeous, uber-popular leader at school... down as far as they possibly can. It's awful. It started with the kids' behavior, and I was shocked that the parents were allowing them to behave the way that they were. Now I know why they didn't do anything about it.... they wanted to play high school too. And it's not over... they continue to treat Reilly like shit... they are being flat-out MEAN to him. Normally, that kind of thing wouldn't bug him at all and  he'd just laugh it off, but he thought these were his best friends and he's heartbroken. The other day he said to me, "ever since dad died, everyone I care about leaves me." Son of a bitch! I HATE that!!! Let me just tell you.... that whole crew had better steer a WIDE path around me... I can't be held responsible for the ginormous can of whoop ass that I'll unleash on them. 


Luckily, he has a fun evening planned tonight. He's staying after school to cheer on some pals at the track meet, and then going to spend the night at his friend Brandon's. Brandon has been a friend since first grade, and he's one of a very small handful of boys that didn't walk away from Rei when D got sick. NO worries about Brandon turning on him. :0) I don't think that kid even knows the word 'drama'. 


Time for me to hit the road and meet up for our field trip. I hope I'll have some cute pics to share. Enjoy the day. 


xoxo
S

Are ya drunk yet? ;-)

Enjoying a Cinco de Mayo cocktail? Not me. :( Sure wish I was!!! I only have a few minutes... Rory is in grief group & we're about to make the mad dash to South Riding. NO idea what traffic will be like... I really hope we get to see a decent amount of play. 


Did more Craigslist research today and got some VERY encouraging info. :0) Now, if I can actually sell this shit I'll be golden! For a little while anyway. The big bummer is that every single thing needs to be deep-cleaned and spit-shined before I can even post it. I want the shiz to look sweeeet in the pictures!


Tomorrow Rory & Leilei have a field trip to the zoo. Roy is so sweet... he took the day off work to be a chaperone. Originally I wasn't planning to go. Rory is SO clingy these days that even though he wants me there, it's often even harder for me to be around. But now that Froggy is going, I think I'll go too. It should be a fun family day... with NO Jayjoe in attendance!!! The best part? Since I'm not an official chaperone, I'm not allowed on the bus... boo fuckin hoooooo! Yeeeehawwww!!! I'll drive up and meet 'em there. 


Time to scoot. Keep sending good sales juju... I have an appointment to show a MAJOR piece of farm equipment!!! 


xoxo
S

Cinco de Mayo feliz!!!

Cinco de Mayo... one of those days when I really miss being able to have a margarita. Damn. My mouth is watering!!! I'm sorry to hear that you're in a funk To, but I think it may actually because you've been HITTIN' THE PIPE!!! What the FUCK are you talking about??? And when did you become a CRACKHEAD??? So you're not even on Facebook, but you say I'm "keeping 'em guessing" there? Whuuaaaaa??? I guarantee you, I am NOT engaged. I'd be very happy to tell you if that were true, but it is not. And by the way, I've been meaning to ask you... why aren't you on Facebook??? It's SO fun and there are a zillion people that we know on it. I can't tell you how many friendships I've rekindled and how many connections I've made. I know a lot of people just use it to babble about innocuous bullshit, but I've actually built and strengthened relationships through Facebook. I think everyone should get on it!!! 


So I have this wad of cash in my purse from selling the car. I'm still debating what to do with it. I'm sure the smart thing would be to put it in the bank, but I'd really rather hit the airport and catch a flight... maybe end up on a month long cruise to nowhere... that sounds positively fab. If I stop posting, you'll know what I decided to do. :0)


Yesterday afternoon I worked my balls off on the pool. Of course, it looks way worse now. That's what happens when you stir up all of the shit. I scrubbed & scooped... scrubbed & scooped... scrubbed and scooped... until it was so swampy green that I couldn't see anymore debris to scoop. I went out this morning and it looks like the scum has settled to the bottom again. I guess that means I'll be back at it in a little bit. I can't imagine how many days/weeks this part of the process will take. Grrrrr. I won't have time to do it this afternoon... Rory has group and then we have to haul ass to South Riding to try and catch the final few minutes of Reilly's last lacrosse game. I wish we could be there for the whole thing, but the lil peanut cannot afford to miss his support group. I can't believe that the season is over already... it feels like it went sooooo fast. 


Now the kid is telling me that he wants to play in a summer league, so I need to do some reserch about that. He's also changed his plans for the fall... he decided a while ago that he wanted to try football this year, but now that he's got a job, that's out. They start having two-a-days at the beginning of July. Thank God he's no longer interested... that's a bit much. He's decided instead to run cross-country in the fall and then do weight conditioning during the winter. He's a lil  nervous about staying in shape for lacrosse.... there are 90 rising freshman who will be trying out for the team. Just a wee bit more competition!!!


Craigslist time... gotta scram. Have a good one. 


xoxo
S

Really????

Hey BUTTHEADS.... did you not READ my last post???? I SOLD A FUCKING CAR ON CRAIGSLIST!!!!! This writing 'to myself' is getting OLD!!! Jeeeezus.... gimme some feedback, or I'm done!!!!! Yeah... irritated. 


s

A day filled with emotions...

I guess that was kind of a stupid title for this entry, as I no longer have days that are even-keeled from beginning to end. I'm proud to say that I hit the club again this morning. Only weights today, but I was workin hard. Then I went to 'work'... researching more items to post on Craigslist, returning calls about a couple things I'd already listed, etc. I also had to go to the pool store for a few things. Lemme tell ya... my pool is fucked 6 ways to Sunday. After I had our regular pool company open it last spring, that was about the last time I paid attention to it. The auto-cover stopped working at some point, the heater wasn't firing up and what else? Oh yeah... my husband died. That kind of got in the way of my regularly scheduled pool maintenance. Roy helped me flush the lines and close it down for the winter, but we never got the winter cover on. That means there's all kinds of shit at the bottom of the pool. I talked to the pool guy & I have to manually remove as much of the debris as is humanly possible before I start trying to balance the water with chemicals. Well shit. That sounds about as appealing as a red hot fire poker up my ass. One great thing about this pool in years past, is that it was always basically no maintenance. I'd throw in some chlorine tabs every two weeks or so & that was it. But now I'm going to have to resuscitate this thing from the dead. It didn't help that it was hot and humid again today... God, I fuckin' HATE THAT!!! I do NOT do well working outside in that nastiness, but it's unavoidable... unless I want to just go for the swamp look with the pool. 


So... I was dreading dealing with that, all hot and sweaty, and I had my first appointment to show the Mercedes looming in the  afternoon. I've never so much as sat in that stupid shit heap, and I swore I never would. Well, today I had to get in and drive the damn thing into the garage so I could clean it up to show. Great. I couldn't get it to start... I couldn't get the trunk open... I was a sobbing, swearing, hysterical mess. A wee bit o' anxiety??? Uh, yeah. I finally got the pile in the garage. I vacuumed it, wiped it down inside and out & opened all the windows to air it out. Luckily, I composed myself just before Finn got home, and the car guy showed shortly thereafter. Hold on to your hats motherfuckers.... I SOLD THAT SMELLY OLD BITCH!!!!! Yep. Lil ol' me... all by myself. :0) And guess what... I only got $250 less than what David paid for it almost 3 years ago!!!! Could there possibly be even better news??? Yep! The buyer is shipping it to Germany next week.... I'll never have to lay eyes on that godforsaken heap of shit again!!!!! 


While it was exactly what I hoped would happen, as soon as the buyer left, I ran upstairs and burst into tears. That car has represented nothing but pain to me since day 1. It was also the symbol of the beginning of the end of my marriage. I should have known where we were headed the very night that he told me about the car. He flew into a rage when I put my foot down, claiming he was "bound by a verbal commitment to the seller". When I asked him about his commitment to his wife... he had no words. Interesting. I think the tears were all about the pain and sadness and rage that I've felt about that car, and David's horrendously selfish behavior surrounding it. I have to say though, I did have one wee moment of an unspoken 'I told ya so' with him about it. The very first time he took it out for a drive, it broke down. He had to call me to come and get him. I said nothing. I didn't have to. :0) 


I decided a celebration was in order, so I treated everyone to dinner up at Andy's. The weather had cooled down beautifully and we were able to enjoy our meal out on their pretty patio. Then once we got home, finished homework & got all the kiddos to bed, Finn & I snuggled up and just laughed and talked for over an hour. It was deeeelish. 


Time to do doggie duty, but one more tidbit of fab news.... Reilly got a job at the kennel!!!! Woooohoooooo!!!!! A job, a paycheck, and he can WALK there!!!! Yeah baby!!!!!


Love ya...
xoxo
S


***Tojo... FYI:1 measeley sentence from you does NOT qualify as a real post. I require much more from you girl, mostly because you make me laugh my ass off, so bring it!!!! ;-)

Ruh roh....

I fear I may have made a HUGE mistake, but I'll get to that in a minute. Thanks for the kudos regarding my Craigslist sales. :0) As you well know Auntie Nut, there is a TON OF SHIT that I still have to go through. It'll definitely be a process. And no worries about me taking safety precautions... are you KIDDING me??? I live so far out past east Jesus that NO ONE would hear the screams as I was murdered!!! I DID handle the transaction myself, but my Froggy was there, and will be there when I show the car too. He's a sweet pea, but he's also a bad-ass mofo of a redneck. Nobody would have the BALLS to fuck with me while he's around. :0) Have I ever referred to him as Froggy before? If not, that's what Rory calls him. It started with him laughing about his last name & calling him Finneyfrog. That has morphed into Froggy. Cute. :0)

So here's my possible oopsie doodle... today I offered to take care of Jayden during the summer, instead of having him go to day care. My thinking was that it would save Roy the money and the extra time he spends each day getting the kid up at o'dark thirty & schlepping him back and forth. My intentions were totally pure, but now I'm realizing what a HUGE cramp he's gonna put in my style. :-/ The other 3 are no big deal, but a toddler SERIOUSLY changes the game. WHAT HAVE I DONE???? Shit.

Gots to scramble...
S

Monday? Really????

Well ain't this a bitch.... Rory finally slept through the night. Yay!!! But true to form, my stupid head was swimming with shit & I had a solid 5 hours of nightmares. Dammit!!! Yep... me sleepy. I'm proud to tell you though, that I DID go to the club this morning. I almost didn't... I sat in the parking lot for a few minutes debating whether or not to go in, and finally made the right choice. :0) 


I have lots more research to do today as far as things to sell on Craigslist. I guess this will be my 'job' for now, so I'd better get to it. I'm going to continue to apply for jobs, but I'm narrowing my focus and will only be applying for openings with the schools.  There should be a ton of positions that come open over the summer... that's what I'm hoping for anyway. I had a chat with Rory's principal the other day & she suggested that I go to Woodgrove and have a talk with the principal, Papa G... aka Ric. The good news is that he knows me and really likes me. :0) Since the principals are the ones who do all of the hiring, she suggested that I hand him my resume and ask him to keep me in mind as positions come up. Good plan. Of course, my first choice would be to work at Waterford, but it's such a tiny school that there just aren't many things that come open there. I'd be THRILLED to get a job at Woodgrove, in any capacity. 


Gotta scoot. Toni, you'd better post soon or I'm gonna fly out there & beat your ass. Also call my mama & make a date. She misses you!!! :0)


xoxo
S

Okay... I'm back.

I got to take a rare and glorious nap... lovely. :0) So back to my story. An angel also known as my Katy girl came to my rescue & took Rory off my hands for a couple hours. First they took Baby Bentley for a walk.

He's getting so big!

After that, they were off to the club. VERY convenient that KK's fam are members too! She got in a workout & he was happy as a clam in the kid's club. Then they had a lil lunch in the Life Cafe before heading home. It was only about 3 hours, but I needed it desperately. I spent the entire time in my car, enjoying a smoothie and working on the computer. There was also a mad dash into the grocery store... me time is never really all for me. I decided to get serious about posting some things on Craigslist, so most of the time I was online, I was doing research. I took a whole bunch of pictures on Friday, and was trying to figure out what most of the shit was. 

I have to say, the more investigating I did, the more pissed I got at David. What an incredibly selfish, thoughtless asshole. The tens of thousands of dollars he spent on things that we didn't need... and many, never even used... it made me sick. And aside from the Mercedes, most of the things I'm talking about he bought before cancer. Roy's observation was, "well, he sure was trying to prove something to somebody." Yeah... but who??? Most of the stuff I'd never even seen before he died. He knew if he put something out in the barn, his secret would be safe... as I never went out there. And if I did happen to see him bring in something new he'd bought, I never questioned it. I trusted him. Right about now, that blind faith is making me feel pretty fucking stupid. Ugh. What a dick. I just can't believe how incredibly careless he was with our family's future. Clearly, he was thinking only of himself. I say again... dick.

Once we got home, the kids played outside like crazy. After a while I asked them to take a walk with me. We went all over.... up the hill, through the woods, over to visit some horses and some chickens... it was a great walk and we were gone until about 7:30. Roy had been mowing and prepping the pit for a bonfire. We'd told the kids we could roast hot dogs for dinner & then make s'mores. :0) But then the crazy redneck asked the kids if they wanted to take a ride in the jeep... just a little spin out back he said. Yeah, right!!! They did some serious mud boggin' and had a total blast. I was taking pictures from up at the house and I could hear them laughing all the way down at the bottom of the property. 

 Wheeeeee!

 Disappearing into the brush...

 Jayden showing me the muddy mess.

My very happy, mud-splattered redneck. :0)

You can probably imagine that they LOVED IT!!! Now I think the kids will be pretty pissed once he sells that damn thing! He's got a guy coming to take look #2 on Tuesday... I told him he'd better get out there and hose it off. His response? "Fuck him! If he wants it, HE can clean it off!!! Or, I'll take him out back and get some real mud on it!!!" Alrighty then! 

The kids were all splattered with mud... Jayden & Leilei didn't care, but Rory must have a little too much of me in him. He couldn't stand it & ran inside for a quick shower before the bonfire. :0) Then it was hot dogs & baked beans, followed by s'mores. I have SO missed the smell of a fire!!! We only got to have a couple this year, as we ran out of firewood. Luckily, there's an abandoned house up the road that has a huge felled tree in the yard, so that's where we go to get our bonfire wood. 

Please don't judge me... he dressed himself after his shower! ;-)

It was a wonderful day, but long and exhausting. There were even a few tears on my part. When we were on our nature walk, Rory kept picking dandelions and making wishes out loud... "I wish Daddy would come back from Heaven to be with me!" "I wish Daddy was here everyday!" "I wish I could go fishing with Daddy again!" They were all very sweet and he was in a great mood, but he kept repeating those same things so many times that I felt like we were getting into dangerous territory. Magical thinking is one thing, but I didn't want him to believe those wishes could come true. I finally had to say to him, "honey, you know those things can't happen, right?" He answered with, "yeah, but I can wish for them." I went on with, "but you do realize that Daddy will be in Heaven forever, right?" He said, "yes... and I'll see him there one day." Fucking hell. Talk about a soul-shatterer. Even though his recent bout with depression seems to have passed, I know that David continues to weigh heavily on his mind because he hasn't slept through the night in weeks. You know what that means... neither have I. 

It's funny how major life events can change even the tiniest things about who we are. I was ALWAYS the girl who wished on a dandelion.... who wished on a star... who made a wish when my necklace clasp fell to the bottom... who wished every time I noticed the clock at 2:22 or 5:55 or 11:11. I don't make wishes anymore. I did until David left me, but I haven't since then. It's something I think about too, like if I do see the first star of the night. But then I remember... wishes don't come true. I'm not saying that I no longer have hopes or dreams for myself... I just don't waste my time on the wishes. Kind of sad, really.

On to the good news.... I made my very first Craigslist sales today!!!! Yahoooooo!!!! And I did it all by myself!!! I posted a few farm implements last night, made contact with this guy & set up a time for him to come over this morning. He came for the 6 foot rake tractor attachment, and left with that AND the box scraper!!! He got a good deal and I still got a great price. Feeling pretty proud about that!!! 

I also re-listed the Mercedes. Remember a while back when I could barely get 4k for it? Just for shits, I posted it for 6k and I've already had numerous calls. I even have two, count 'em TWO, appointments set up to show it!!! I won't tell you when they are, as that seems to have jinxed me in the past, but I will ask you to say a prayer and send me some good sales juju!!!

Reilly came home from his long weekend of competition. He uttered about 3 words and then disappeared into the basement. Nice. Luckily, I convinced him to come up for dinner and he filled us in a bit. He and Patrick actually came in 3rd in their category... remember, this was a STATE competition... and they qualified to participate in the National competition in Texas in late June. How cool is that??? Tomorrow they're going to ambush Papa G (their principal) and see what they can do about getting some funding. They invented a couple of really cool things. I'll have him give me the details again so I can pass along the right info to you. The best part is that he had a great time doing something academic. Finally!

That's all for me. Hope you enjoyed the weekend. 

:0)

S

May??? Really???

Not a clue when it bcame May. It's rigoddamndiculous if you ask me. Wasn't it Christmas like 3 weeks ago? Time marches on, I guess. Yesterday was a full one from beginning to end. We started out with Rory & Leilei's soccer game at 10. (And by the way... we'd already been up for 4 hours thanks to the toddler in the house. Grrrr.) I posted soccer pics yesterday, so go check 'em out. Rory was, as usual, CRAZY intense on the field. He doesn't display poor sportsmanship or anything... quite the opposite actually... but he's incredibly focused on the game. I love that at age 7 he's already such a great team player. That's not easy to find at this age... most kids get a hold of the ball & never let it go. But not my guy!

Mr.Intensity... back at it!

Unfortunately, Leighanna barely moved during the whole game. Seriously. Lots of standing still and staring at the ball, even when it was sitting at her feet. It's a miracle that I got 2 whole pictures that make it look like she was playing. Those were literally the only two times during the game that she actually engaged. It was so frustrating!!! She has definitely shown herself to be pretty lazy in general. I'm told she gets that from her mom. I believe it too, as Roy is the OPPOSITE of lazy. That's exactly why we signed her up for soccer... to get her off her ass. So far, it doesn't seem to be working. :-/ 

After the game we went our separate ways. Roy had a couple of errands to do and I was REALLY in need of a break. I don't think Roy really understands it when I feel like that, but he also has the luxury of taking his kids to his mom's or his grandma's and leaving them for a couple of days. They were gone ALL of spring break week!!!! Here's a news bulletin.... I NEVER get to take a break from my kids and I'm fuckin exhausted. Just the everyday parenting, housekeeping, cooking, shuttling to activities... that stuff is tiring on it's own. Add in the emotional turmoil my boys are experiencing, and it's all but unbearable. 

Lots more details to share, but I think I have a few minutes to close my eyes, so I'm gonna skedat. More later.

:0)

S