We got DANG lucky!!! You never know what the weather is going to be like out here... it's always a crapshoot to make outdoor plans. We certainly hit the jackpot for our field trip today!!! Gorgeous and sunny, but crisp and cool. Perfecto!!! The only bad news? I'd like to head back home and take a fat-ass nap. Yesterday was a fucking MARATHON and I was practically in the car ALL DAY!!! Rory & I hauled ass to South Riding last night. I even pulled him from group 15 minutes early so we'd be sure to make the game. I got from the hospital to South Riding in 25 minutes. Lemme just tell ya'.... that's unheard of. We screamed into the parking lot, ran to the gate... and it was already over. :( That had to be the fastest lacrosse game in history!!! I was so bummed. Reilly was too, but he understood. He didn't realize how far away that school was until he was on the damn bus for 90 minutes, getting there from Woodgrove.
I went over to the Woodgrove side, as I had to give the team mom $ for a coaches gift. Ran into a Waterford family that I've known forever. Reilly & their oldest son were in preschool together out in Lowes Island, & they just happened to build a house and move to Waterford at the same time we did.... so Rei and their 2 boys have been in school together since age 3. They are one of the very few families that have never treated us any differently. They also helped me with childcare, brought us meals, and came to David's Celebration of Life. Anyhoo, we had a nice time catching up, and it turns out that it was a VERY good thing Paul was there. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed several people who have made Reilly's life a living hell for the past couple weeks. It's bad enough that the kid came home after practice the other night and cried and cried about how they had treated him that day. I'm not talking just kids either... there are parents involved. Not only am I hurt and sad for him, I'm FUCKING PISSED at these asshole parents. They have played a very serious game with Reilly's emotions, and that's the last thing he needs right now. I knew I was going to have to walk right by them on the way out, and I was fairly concerned that I might leap into the stands and beat this particular mom's head to a bloody pulp. Paul provided a nice barrier so that I didn't end up in jail.
These women are such douchebags.... they are all about creating drama. I don't know if they were unpopular in high school or something and now they feel the need to try a do-over. Evidently, they are all getting high over knocking Reilly... the smart, funny, athletic, charming, gorgeous, uber-popular leader at school... down as far as they possibly can. It's awful. It started with the kids' behavior, and I was shocked that the parents were allowing them to behave the way that they were. Now I know why they didn't do anything about it.... they wanted to play high school too. And it's not over... they continue to treat Reilly like shit... they are being flat-out MEAN to him. Normally, that kind of thing wouldn't bug him at all and he'd just laugh it off, but he thought these were his best friends and he's heartbroken. The other day he said to me, "ever since dad died, everyone I care about leaves me." Son of a bitch! I HATE that!!! Let me just tell you.... that whole crew had better steer a WIDE path around me... I can't be held responsible for the ginormous can of whoop ass that I'll unleash on them.
Luckily, he has a fun evening planned tonight. He's staying after school to cheer on some pals at the track meet, and then going to spend the night at his friend Brandon's. Brandon has been a friend since first grade, and he's one of a very small handful of boys that didn't walk away from Rei when D got sick. NO worries about Brandon turning on him. :0) I don't think that kid even knows the word 'drama'.
Time for me to hit the road and meet up for our field trip. I hope I'll have some cute pics to share. Enjoy the day.
xoxo
S
Trying to survive and thrive, through the most difficult time in my life.
Welcome!
So here's the Reader's Digest version for those of you who are new to my blog.... My 39 year old husband, David, was diagnosed with a hideous and deadly cancer in April of '08. We were told he'd likely die in less than 4 months. Obviously, that diagnosis turned us inside out and shook us to the core. At the time, our boys were 12 and 4... can you say 'fucking nightmare'??? I spent the next 14 months being his 24/7 caregiver and advocate... never leaving his side unless it was to get the boys to or from therapy or their cancer support groups. Cancer and the hell that it brings became our universe. And yet, I was able to get myself to a place where I was depending on my faith.... existing on a plane of pure gratitude. I focused my energies on recognizing the blessings that cancer had brought to our lives... yes, there ARE blessings that come with such a dire diagnosis.
Things were good. David miraculously entered remission in April of '09. I was looking forward to the next few months being our 'summer of healing' as a family. And then my world stopped. He left me... left US... on 6 June 2009. And FYI... he told me he was ending our 18 year marriage in a note. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had left me for a 'friend' who also happened to be married. Nice. The next few months are a blur... I descended into a deep, dark depression, and David's vicious treatment of me didn't help. He was running as fast as he could from everything associated with cancer, and that included me... our family, our home and the entire life we had built together. Things went from bad to worse when his cancer returned with a vengeance. He began treatment once again, and I had to dig deep to help him and make things as easy on him as possible. I even offered to have him move home so I could care for him through his treatment. As it turns out, it was a good thing he didn't take me up on that. The hateful way that he treated me during that time would have made caregiving for him an unbearable situation. I KNEW he was dying... nobody else did, because he fed them all kinds of bullshit... but I knew. Because of that, I focused on the boys and made sure they were with their daddy as much as possible.
His final months were a living nightmare... a kind of pain and darkness for which there are no words. No human being, no matter who they are or how they lived their lives, should have to suffer the horrific pain and endless indignities that David did. In spite of everything, I was with him constantly, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend and his mother. 'Too fuckin bad' was my theory. I wanted my boys to see that I NEVER turned my back on their dad. And I didn't. I continued to advocate for him in the hospital... fighting to get him the meds and the specialists he needed. I was there during his final moments of consciousness. I took Reilly to say goodbye to his dad, just before he slipped into that state. I was there when he died. I ID'd his body at the funeral home. I planned his funeral and his Celebration of Life. I placed his ashes in the wall of the Columbarium at the Naval Academy. We had spent half of our lives together, and though I was no longer in love with him, I did those things out of respect for the life that we shared and the family that we created.The 6 months since he died have brought more changes. I struggle daily to untangle the financial disaster he left me, and I'm fighting like hell to keep our home. The boys are now 15 and 7 and trying to learn how to move forward in their lives without their daddy. I had to get a part-time job after spending 15 years as a full-time mother, and I'm doing everything I can to trim the fat so we can afford to stay where we are. My boys NEED the stability and comfort that come with remaining in our home and community, and staying in their schools. To that end, I will fight with every fiber of my soul to ensure that those things happen.My greatest blessing is that I now have an incredible man in my life... a man who is thoughtful and loving, strong and sensitive, hilariously funny, and who loves me just the way I am. He is authentic. He knows who he is and is completely comfortable in his own skin. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's 11 years younger than I am and sexy as hell. :0)Yes, my boys are struggling in many ways... the therapy and support groups continue... and I still have MUCHO 'death business' to handle. That said, I am starting to believe that there might be a happy future ahead... for all of us.The past almost 3 years have been quite an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. Writing has been the most important part of my day, every day, since this journey began. I am once again being put in a position where I have to learn to survive... spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially... you get the picture. My hope is that I can hold on to my faith, find a moment of joy in every day, be the best mother I can possibly be, and hopefully... one day... emerge back into the light.December 2010
Parents are worse than the kids...where do you think they get it from? Giant A-holes. You are right, different scenario, he would be able to handle it if he hadn't suffered a painful loss. Right now he is dealing with what he does not have that most kids do have ~ a Dad. He lost a most significant part of his young life that he will never be able to get back. NO OPTIONS HERE! And not one of those ass-bag parents understand. I just know that if anything goes awry in thier families, Rei and you would understand and help them in any way possible while there ass-bag friends ignore them. Pustuels!
ReplyDeleteThere will always be hurts like this. Cuts like a knife. Never gets better either. So sorry I cannot take some of that hurt away so the boys don't have to feel it so much.
Did I miss something? I didn't know people were picking on Reilly! I hope it's not the friends who came to the run with him! I cannot imagine anyone being mean to him. And parents allowing it? Assholes.
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Got my CZC postcard, very sweet. Thank you. Have great weekend! T.
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