Well isn't this just a fuckin' laugh riot. I had a great day at work... learned a lot more about scheduling and I'm starting to feel more comfortable with the computer program. It's a beautifully sunny day, though cold and crisp, which is one of my faves. I left the office to head home and get the kiddos off the bus. The fatal error I made was in checking my e-mail. There was a long letter from my corporate attorney. Get THIS... SDSI is closing their doors. Yep. Shutting down permanently. The YEARS and YEARS that David spent doing research, business development, traveling, being away from our family... all of it. Up in smoke. And we will get nothing. Yes, I'm still the majority shareholder and I'm being given the 'opportunity' to attend the shareholder's meeting and vote my shares. However, the documents I received basically state that if the vote doesn't go the way Hank wants it to, he'll simply move the company into bankruptcy. SDSI's attorney even had the balls to include a proxy form fo me to fill out so that Hank can just vote my shares FOR me. Yeah. Right. I am GOING to that meeting and I'm going to FORCE him to look me in the face as he single-handedly dismantles David's dream and takes away any hope we had for a secure financial future for the boys.
I feel physically sick. David started that company in our home.... in the basement room that is now known as the mancave. He built it into a multi-million dollar operation and provided jobs and incredible opportunities for many people. I remember the day I first went to see the suite of offices. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was a REAL office in a REAL office building. We were no longer operating out of the basement... it was a HUGE step. We took the elevator up to the fourth floor. When he turned the key in that door and we walked into the reception area I burst into tears. I was SO proud of him... of US... we had done it.
You know what else I find incredibly distasteful? The documents were signed on December 22nd. They made the decision to destroy what was left of SDSI, and David hadn't even been dead 6 months at that point. Nice. Way to go, Hank. Way to buckle down and take one for the team. It makes me so sad for David. Hank was the father to him in a way that Jim never was. He loved him... respected him... trusted him. I guess it's a good thing he's dead. A betrayal of this magnitude would have broken his heart.
I was still holding out hope that we'd reach SOME kind of settlement... that I would get a small monthly draw or that they'd put us back on their health insurance. At least I don't have to waste anymore energy praying for those things to happen.
It never fuckin' fails.... 2 steps forward and 5 steps back. Fuck.
S
Trying to survive and thrive, through the most difficult time in my life.
Welcome!
So here's the Reader's Digest version for those of you who are new to my blog.... My 39 year old husband, David, was diagnosed with a hideous and deadly cancer in April of '08. We were told he'd likely die in less than 4 months. Obviously, that diagnosis turned us inside out and shook us to the core. At the time, our boys were 12 and 4... can you say 'fucking nightmare'??? I spent the next 14 months being his 24/7 caregiver and advocate... never leaving his side unless it was to get the boys to or from therapy or their cancer support groups. Cancer and the hell that it brings became our universe. And yet, I was able to get myself to a place where I was depending on my faith.... existing on a plane of pure gratitude. I focused my energies on recognizing the blessings that cancer had brought to our lives... yes, there ARE blessings that come with such a dire diagnosis.
Things were good. David miraculously entered remission in April of '09. I was looking forward to the next few months being our 'summer of healing' as a family. And then my world stopped. He left me... left US... on 6 June 2009. And FYI... he told me he was ending our 18 year marriage in a note. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had left me for a 'friend' who also happened to be married. Nice. The next few months are a blur... I descended into a deep, dark depression, and David's vicious treatment of me didn't help. He was running as fast as he could from everything associated with cancer, and that included me... our family, our home and the entire life we had built together. Things went from bad to worse when his cancer returned with a vengeance. He began treatment once again, and I had to dig deep to help him and make things as easy on him as possible. I even offered to have him move home so I could care for him through his treatment. As it turns out, it was a good thing he didn't take me up on that. The hateful way that he treated me during that time would have made caregiving for him an unbearable situation. I KNEW he was dying... nobody else did, because he fed them all kinds of bullshit... but I knew. Because of that, I focused on the boys and made sure they were with their daddy as much as possible.
His final months were a living nightmare... a kind of pain and darkness for which there are no words. No human being, no matter who they are or how they lived their lives, should have to suffer the horrific pain and endless indignities that David did. In spite of everything, I was with him constantly, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend and his mother. 'Too fuckin bad' was my theory. I wanted my boys to see that I NEVER turned my back on their dad. And I didn't. I continued to advocate for him in the hospital... fighting to get him the meds and the specialists he needed. I was there during his final moments of consciousness. I took Reilly to say goodbye to his dad, just before he slipped into that state. I was there when he died. I ID'd his body at the funeral home. I planned his funeral and his Celebration of Life. I placed his ashes in the wall of the Columbarium at the Naval Academy. We had spent half of our lives together, and though I was no longer in love with him, I did those things out of respect for the life that we shared and the family that we created.The 6 months since he died have brought more changes. I struggle daily to untangle the financial disaster he left me, and I'm fighting like hell to keep our home. The boys are now 15 and 7 and trying to learn how to move forward in their lives without their daddy. I had to get a part-time job after spending 15 years as a full-time mother, and I'm doing everything I can to trim the fat so we can afford to stay where we are. My boys NEED the stability and comfort that come with remaining in our home and community, and staying in their schools. To that end, I will fight with every fiber of my soul to ensure that those things happen.My greatest blessing is that I now have an incredible man in my life... a man who is thoughtful and loving, strong and sensitive, hilariously funny, and who loves me just the way I am. He is authentic. He knows who he is and is completely comfortable in his own skin. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's 11 years younger than I am and sexy as hell. :0)Yes, my boys are struggling in many ways... the therapy and support groups continue... and I still have MUCHO 'death business' to handle. That said, I am starting to believe that there might be a happy future ahead... for all of us.The past almost 3 years have been quite an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. Writing has been the most important part of my day, every day, since this journey began. I am once again being put in a position where I have to learn to survive... spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially... you get the picture. My hope is that I can hold on to my faith, find a moment of joy in every day, be the best mother I can possibly be, and hopefully... one day... emerge back into the light.December 2010
04 January 2011
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THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! Couldn't they sell it? I am sure someone would be interested in David's work. Nice job pinheads. I am soooo sorry Shan. Special place in hell for them. I guess we know who was hustling the business for the company. Happy work went well. Peace out girl scout. L. To
ReplyDeleteHey Sunshine!
ReplyDeleteSo Hank is trying to rain on your parade. Well I say don't let him. Didn't David land a few hefty contracts before he passed? That makes me think he is stripping the company and setting up another company to kick you out. Also since you are the majority shareholder doesn't that give you the power to fire him! Now that would be sweet after the way he has treated you!!
What does your lawyer advise you to do?
Think of your steps back as getting ready to charge full steam ahead!
Love ya,
Helen
I agree with Helen...Something fishey is going on. It's the boys' legacy. I have a feeling that is what is worrying you. Need to get the info from the attny about options. I HATE that you have to go through this....FUCKING CANCER!
ReplyDeletexoxo
AN
HEY CHIQUITA BANANA.....
ReplyDeletejust got your mama set up on Blogspot and she is now "a follower".......xoxox
~AN
PS: Now I will get your Aunt Elaine following!
Now your Aunt Elaine is on board....
ReplyDelete