Just made another Craigslist sale!!! Got rid of the specialty drumming throne that D had. Yahhhoooooo!!!! I've got a couple other things that have interested buyers at the moment... sure would love to finish up the weekend with another sale or two.
Rei came home from his orientation yesterday just as happy as a clam. He couldn't stop talking about how great it was and how excited he is to work on Thursday. They've already taken notice of how skilled Reilly is with handling dogs. At one point, the orientation leader, Logan, said "I want everyone to watch how Reilly is reacting to the dogs. THAT'S how you act as a pack leader." NICE! As a reward for all of his positive actions of late, he got to spend the night with Brandon and Austen. They had a horror movie marathon... gross... but they love 'em.
Froggy, Rory & I had a quiet evening at home. Rory entertained himself for HOURS playing soccer & Roy was working on the jeep. I kept him company by editing all of my pics in the garage. Dayum... have I mentioned how cute he is????
All was well until his phone started ringing at about 10 p.m. His mom, his ex, his sister-in-law... all wanting to know what the fuck the deal was with some pictures of Leighanna that had been posted on Facebook. We had no idea about them, so had to do a little research. It turns out that her little bitch cousins spent yesterday humiliating her and then posting the pics and videos on FB. It was awful. He immediately called his cousin... the mother of these little girls who are 10 & 12... and she didn't see what the big deal was. First of all, why the FUCK does a 10 year old have a facebook page??? There were tons of wildly inappropriate pictures... just gross. He was positively furious. He's a very calm, quiet and soft-spoken guy... the opposite of David. D was a screamer, a door slammer... the works. Roy just got calmer and quieter. He was so upset that he was literally shaking. He ended up working on the jeep until about 2 or 3 this morning. I think he was channelling his rage so he didn't drive up there and kill someone. He went up first thing this morning and was even more disgusted when he got there. Jayden has a HUGE round welt on his face. They said he got hit with a ping pong ball. Have you any idea how hard it must have been smashed at him to make a mark like that??? He told his grandma that he won't be bringing the kids up there anymore. Clearly, the adult supervision is seriously lacking. I never thought it was the best environment for them, but it's his family and they're his kids... not my business. But now he really gets it. I totally agree that they shouldn't go there anymore, but at the same time, it sucks. Grandma was the only one who'd ever take the kids so he could have a wee break. Oh well... that ship has sailed.
He's feeling really awful about what they endured over the weekend and wants to go do something fun so we can end it on a high note. Not sure what we're going to do... maybe go to Harper's Ferry, maybe have a bonfire... I don't know. The weather has turned from rainy to gorgeous, so at least we can do something outside.
On a different note, need you to say some prayers for our friend John Lender... the one who owns the kennel. He appears to have had a mini-stroke on Friday... lost all vision in his left eye and was admitted overnight. That's all I know right now.
Love ya...
xoxo
S
Trying to survive and thrive, through the most difficult time in my life.
Welcome!
So here's the Reader's Digest version for those of you who are new to my blog.... My 39 year old husband, David, was diagnosed with a hideous and deadly cancer in April of '08. We were told he'd likely die in less than 4 months. Obviously, that diagnosis turned us inside out and shook us to the core. At the time, our boys were 12 and 4... can you say 'fucking nightmare'??? I spent the next 14 months being his 24/7 caregiver and advocate... never leaving his side unless it was to get the boys to or from therapy or their cancer support groups. Cancer and the hell that it brings became our universe. And yet, I was able to get myself to a place where I was depending on my faith.... existing on a plane of pure gratitude. I focused my energies on recognizing the blessings that cancer had brought to our lives... yes, there ARE blessings that come with such a dire diagnosis.
Things were good. David miraculously entered remission in April of '09. I was looking forward to the next few months being our 'summer of healing' as a family. And then my world stopped. He left me... left US... on 6 June 2009. And FYI... he told me he was ending our 18 year marriage in a note. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had left me for a 'friend' who also happened to be married. Nice. The next few months are a blur... I descended into a deep, dark depression, and David's vicious treatment of me didn't help. He was running as fast as he could from everything associated with cancer, and that included me... our family, our home and the entire life we had built together. Things went from bad to worse when his cancer returned with a vengeance. He began treatment once again, and I had to dig deep to help him and make things as easy on him as possible. I even offered to have him move home so I could care for him through his treatment. As it turns out, it was a good thing he didn't take me up on that. The hateful way that he treated me during that time would have made caregiving for him an unbearable situation. I KNEW he was dying... nobody else did, because he fed them all kinds of bullshit... but I knew. Because of that, I focused on the boys and made sure they were with their daddy as much as possible.
His final months were a living nightmare... a kind of pain and darkness for which there are no words. No human being, no matter who they are or how they lived their lives, should have to suffer the horrific pain and endless indignities that David did. In spite of everything, I was with him constantly, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend and his mother. 'Too fuckin bad' was my theory. I wanted my boys to see that I NEVER turned my back on their dad. And I didn't. I continued to advocate for him in the hospital... fighting to get him the meds and the specialists he needed. I was there during his final moments of consciousness. I took Reilly to say goodbye to his dad, just before he slipped into that state. I was there when he died. I ID'd his body at the funeral home. I planned his funeral and his Celebration of Life. I placed his ashes in the wall of the Columbarium at the Naval Academy. We had spent half of our lives together, and though I was no longer in love with him, I did those things out of respect for the life that we shared and the family that we created.The 6 months since he died have brought more changes. I struggle daily to untangle the financial disaster he left me, and I'm fighting like hell to keep our home. The boys are now 15 and 7 and trying to learn how to move forward in their lives without their daddy. I had to get a part-time job after spending 15 years as a full-time mother, and I'm doing everything I can to trim the fat so we can afford to stay where we are. My boys NEED the stability and comfort that come with remaining in our home and community, and staying in their schools. To that end, I will fight with every fiber of my soul to ensure that those things happen.My greatest blessing is that I now have an incredible man in my life... a man who is thoughtful and loving, strong and sensitive, hilariously funny, and who loves me just the way I am. He is authentic. He knows who he is and is completely comfortable in his own skin. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's 11 years younger than I am and sexy as hell. :0)Yes, my boys are struggling in many ways... the therapy and support groups continue... and I still have MUCHO 'death business' to handle. That said, I am starting to believe that there might be a happy future ahead... for all of us.The past almost 3 years have been quite an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. Writing has been the most important part of my day, every day, since this journey began. I am once again being put in a position where I have to learn to survive... spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially... you get the picture. My hope is that I can hold on to my faith, find a moment of joy in every day, be the best mother I can possibly be, and hopefully... one day... emerge back into the light.December 2010
Oh.. I am so sorry about John. Lots of hugs and prayers.. From what you have posted, he seems to be such a kind man. xoxo
ReplyDelete