Hey nubbins.... yes, they actually donated. And you're right, 200 bucks is almost laughable coming from them. Don't get me wrong... anyone else donates even 5 bucks & I'll shout it from the rooftops. But, since they're not helping us in any way, I would have been nice for them to cough up a little more. I'm quite pleased that they gave anything though... 'giving... thoughtful... selfless'... these are not words that could EVER be used to describe them. I sent the troll the info 3 weeks ago. I told my mom that it probably took the bitch that long to research Comfort Zone & make sure that none of the money would be coming anywhere near me. I'm serious. They truly believe I am a conniving, money-grubbing snake. Oops! I think they got me confused with the skank!!! Bwahahahahahaaaaa!!!
Reilly's first lacrosse game as a Wolverine is tomorrow at 6 pm. He is really excited, but he's also having a lot of sadness about the fact that his dad won't be there. These are the things that will never get easier... there will always be firsts... milestones... important events... when he'll be longing for his dad. And you know what? That just sucks giant donkey balls. :(
I'd better skedaddle. Rory built his leprechaun trap that's due tomorrow, but now he has to write the 'operating instructions'! More later...
S
Trying to survive and thrive, through the most difficult time in my life.
Welcome!
So here's the Reader's Digest version for those of you who are new to my blog.... My 39 year old husband, David, was diagnosed with a hideous and deadly cancer in April of '08. We were told he'd likely die in less than 4 months. Obviously, that diagnosis turned us inside out and shook us to the core. At the time, our boys were 12 and 4... can you say 'fucking nightmare'??? I spent the next 14 months being his 24/7 caregiver and advocate... never leaving his side unless it was to get the boys to or from therapy or their cancer support groups. Cancer and the hell that it brings became our universe. And yet, I was able to get myself to a place where I was depending on my faith.... existing on a plane of pure gratitude. I focused my energies on recognizing the blessings that cancer had brought to our lives... yes, there ARE blessings that come with such a dire diagnosis.
Things were good. David miraculously entered remission in April of '09. I was looking forward to the next few months being our 'summer of healing' as a family. And then my world stopped. He left me... left US... on 6 June 2009. And FYI... he told me he was ending our 18 year marriage in a note. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had left me for a 'friend' who also happened to be married. Nice. The next few months are a blur... I descended into a deep, dark depression, and David's vicious treatment of me didn't help. He was running as fast as he could from everything associated with cancer, and that included me... our family, our home and the entire life we had built together. Things went from bad to worse when his cancer returned with a vengeance. He began treatment once again, and I had to dig deep to help him and make things as easy on him as possible. I even offered to have him move home so I could care for him through his treatment. As it turns out, it was a good thing he didn't take me up on that. The hateful way that he treated me during that time would have made caregiving for him an unbearable situation. I KNEW he was dying... nobody else did, because he fed them all kinds of bullshit... but I knew. Because of that, I focused on the boys and made sure they were with their daddy as much as possible.
His final months were a living nightmare... a kind of pain and darkness for which there are no words. No human being, no matter who they are or how they lived their lives, should have to suffer the horrific pain and endless indignities that David did. In spite of everything, I was with him constantly, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend and his mother. 'Too fuckin bad' was my theory. I wanted my boys to see that I NEVER turned my back on their dad. And I didn't. I continued to advocate for him in the hospital... fighting to get him the meds and the specialists he needed. I was there during his final moments of consciousness. I took Reilly to say goodbye to his dad, just before he slipped into that state. I was there when he died. I ID'd his body at the funeral home. I planned his funeral and his Celebration of Life. I placed his ashes in the wall of the Columbarium at the Naval Academy. We had spent half of our lives together, and though I was no longer in love with him, I did those things out of respect for the life that we shared and the family that we created.The 6 months since he died have brought more changes. I struggle daily to untangle the financial disaster he left me, and I'm fighting like hell to keep our home. The boys are now 15 and 7 and trying to learn how to move forward in their lives without their daddy. I had to get a part-time job after spending 15 years as a full-time mother, and I'm doing everything I can to trim the fat so we can afford to stay where we are. My boys NEED the stability and comfort that come with remaining in our home and community, and staying in their schools. To that end, I will fight with every fiber of my soul to ensure that those things happen.My greatest blessing is that I now have an incredible man in my life... a man who is thoughtful and loving, strong and sensitive, hilariously funny, and who loves me just the way I am. He is authentic. He knows who he is and is completely comfortable in his own skin. It certainly doesn't hurt that he's 11 years younger than I am and sexy as hell. :0)Yes, my boys are struggling in many ways... the therapy and support groups continue... and I still have MUCHO 'death business' to handle. That said, I am starting to believe that there might be a happy future ahead... for all of us.The past almost 3 years have been quite an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. Writing has been the most important part of my day, every day, since this journey began. I am once again being put in a position where I have to learn to survive... spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially... you get the picture. My hope is that I can hold on to my faith, find a moment of joy in every day, be the best mother I can possibly be, and hopefully... one day... emerge back into the light.December 2010
GO RORY - HOPES YOU CATCHES YOUSEFFA A NICE AH LEPREEEEECHAN!
ReplyDeleteGO REI KNOCK EM SOCK EM BEAT EM THEM WOLVERINES!
Such a busy day for me. Coach put this very irritating mom in charge of tents and tarps which is terrific because I am up to my eyeballs in feeding the kids and it is overwealming to also have to do all the tarps and tents but why this mom!!!! The sloth! Last weekend her idea of helping was to send out a huge email about it and she got to the regatta, set up her sloth perch and stayed there for the entire day - did not once offer to help or ask about the tents and tarps then had the NERVE to email the coach suggesting I was unsure as to how to put the new tent together...she never got up off her ass to ask me what I was doing- which was trying to figure if the new tent could have a wire threaded through it to assist in assembly or let it be. I was not erecting it because the coaches had chosen not to assemble it, since we had plenty of shade from the nearby tree. Can someone shoot the sloth? This poor woman is about 400 lbs and why she wants to be in charge of tarps and tents is really beyond me because she is unable to carry, erect, move period never mind the tents she has a little stroller like device just for her sloth perch - oh would that be judgemental of me - just kidding - you betcha it is!
AOT
Spunky
HAPPY SAINT PADDY'S DAY, YA IRISH WEASEL!! T.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!
ReplyDeleteAOT
Spunky